You can’t hire ambitious people and then ask them to stop being ambitiou

Hiring managers, executives, CEOs—especially those in tech—are proud to say that we only consider applicants with an unrelenting drive for success and a track record of impressive accomplishments. These qualities often correlate with what we perceive (accurately or not) to be our own reasons for succes, and we want to find people like us: individuals with intrinsic motivation, constantly striving to do better.

But, after these team members do exceptional work and expect exceptional pay, benefits, and promotions, we balk.

Suddenly, we downplay their accomplishments, rant that they’re “still not working as hard as I did,” rewire our memories to soften the praise we’d once given, and invent new hurdles that these impressive-until-they-asked-for-too-much workers must now clear.

Worse still, when they leave our organizations after being passed-over and take that higher-paying/more-prestigiously-titled job with another company, we’re shocked. Bitterness and anger creep in. Too often, I’ve seen leaders spiral with resentment, vowing to hire less, do more themselves, complain that it’s “the kids these days,” that “no one wants to work anymore,” that “employees should be grateful.”  

None of this is emotionally healthy.

None of this is fair.

None of this makes our companies better.

Employees are not beholden to their employer. Unemployment rates globally are near historic lows. It’s labor’s market right now. No matter how generous you are with benefits, vacation time, medical coverage, even personal kindness and friendship, your employees owe you nothing save the work they do from one pay period to another. Can you hope for more from your team? Certainly. Can you ask for more? Within reason, yes. Can you get angry when these hopes and requests aren’t met?

No.

Part of being a good employer means having the maturity to know that people leave organizations for reasons both logical and not. When they leave, they don’t owe us explanations, just as when we turn down a job applicant, we owe no reasons, either (in fact, every employment attorney advises *never* to give reasons when rejecting a candidate).

Friends, I have deep empathy for both employees who leave and managers/execs who feel emotional when they go. When people I cared for left my previous company, or if (heaven forbid) Casey or Amanda left SparkToro, I’d be a mess.

The real question is—is it fair or useful to blame them?